Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery:
=Has anyone seen my watch?
=Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, and that’s the liver, then what’s that?
=Hand me that…uh…that uh…..shiny thingie
=If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
=Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
=That was some party last night. I can’t remember when I’ve been that drunk.
=Damnit ! Page 19 of the operating manual is missing! Look it up on Google.com
=Well this book doesn’t say that… What edition is your manual?
=OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
=Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
=Wait, you said left arm right? My left or the patient’s left? Uh-oh.
=Come back with that Buffy! Bad Dog!
=Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy’s got two of ‘em.
=Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
=Could you stop that thing from beating; it’s throwing my concentration off.
=I wish I hadn’t forgotten my glasses.
=Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
=Sterile, shcmerile. The floor’s clean, right?
=What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change! Too late!
=What do you mean, he’s not insured?
=I don’t know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
=Let’s hurry, I don’t want to miss “30 Rock”
=That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
= Hey Joe, unzip the bag on that one, he’s still moving.
=Did the surgeon know he would look like that afterwards?
=Of course I’ve performed this operation before, Nurse!
= FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
=This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
=Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
=Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
=What do you mean “You want a divorce”!
=See, all done. He’ll never know about the accident inside of him.